If I were going to convert to any religion I would probably choose Catholicism because it at least has female saints and the Virgin Mary

~Margaret Atwood~


Very few times in my life am I actually smacked with my own opinion up side the head, today however this very thing has happened and made me question my own beliefs. I tend to think with the idea: you leave me alone, I'll leave you alone. I rode the fencepost so long, not really knowing what to believe. Yet, somehow, still knowing that when I lay my head down to sleep tonight, I'll drift off just fine.

(Before I start this rant, please let me clarify... Yes, I did go years without ever having a definitive view on any controversial subject. However, in the years since then, I have made up my mind and have voiced it over the last few years.)

I am of the opinion that it is a woman's choice as to what she does with her body. You cannot legalize morality and I think that it is unjust to do so. I have never known anyone to use abortion as a birth control option and nothing more. I have known several girls that had abortions while we were in high school. They were young, unsettled and were not prepared for the responsibilties of a child. I have known the occasional rape/incest victim that has had an abortion. All with reasons that when asked they could clearly explain to me. Let me restate, never have I known anyone to use it simply as a form of birth control and nothing more.

Today, I found out an acquaintance was pregnant. This person is recently divorced with children. She has met someone that she really does like and they have been together about 3 months. Yesterday, she found out she was pregnant. The new man in her life does not have children and may or may not be excited about the possibilities of fatherhood, but is ready to accept them. She who talked non-stop about wanting more suddenly does not. Without being able to give me a reason as to why this was an option for her, other than "we forgot to use protection".

This person is not accountble to me in any way. She doesn't have to give me a reason. She does not have to have face to face counseling with me before she does what she has decided to do. However, during her divorce it was brought up more than once that she was Catholic and divorce was just unacceptable. Now the idea that divorce is unacceptable but abortion is ok, kinda threw me. I'll admit, I was not prepared for it. She asked what I thought about her decision. I just stood there. Unable to comprehend, how once upon a time, someone who wanted another child so badly they were ready to adopt, comes full circle for an abortion. How divorce was the ultimate sin, but abortion was ok.

Simply put, I could not rationalize it. I still believe that she should have the right to choose, but she is my age. She has finished college. She is settled for the most part. There is a man that is willing to be a father. Yet, she jumps straight to that option. There was nothing that I could justify it with. Nothing horrible. Nothing life threatening. I simply could not put myself in her shoes and make the same decision. Then the realization occurred, I was trying to justify it. While it should be a woman's right to decide what is right for her and her body, I had never encountered it so blatantly before.


I can kick and scream all I want to, but justification is not needed.


"Funny business, a woman's career, the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It's one career all females have in common-being a woman. Sooner or later we've got to work at it no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted. And in the last analysis nothing is any good unless you can look up just before dinner or turn around in bed and there he is. Without that you're not a woman. You're something with a French provincial office or a book full of clippings but you're not a woman." Margot Channing, All About Eve

My New Favorite Shirt

"Before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well connected."

I come to you today at the near end of a stressful work day. Nothing has gone right all day. Except for the last hour and in that last hour I have had a range of emotions. Beginning with frustration and then moving on to anger and now I think just relief. At this lovely moment, relief just relief. Relief simply spelled V-E-G-A.

To fill you in...
I have a co-worker who shares many of the same interest as myself. We enjoy each other's company and share many same tastes for my favorite 3 m's:music, movies and men. Through most of 2005, we enjoyed daily trivia. Nothing complicated, just whatever popped into our heads or whatever new little information we had come across over the weekend.
While done completely in good spirits, this friend has made my life a living hell for the last 6 weeks. Deciding to give me the ultimate trivia challenge, he created a CD simply called She Covered What???? The goal of the game was to name the song, name the female artist covering the song, name the original artist/songwriter of the song and then for bonus name both albums on which the song appeared (covered artist/original artist). I listened to the first few songs in my office, just kinda scanning the song choice. Brinton has heavily criticized this CD. The intention was not just the game or even how good the songs were, just that it was a certain female artist covering whatever other artist/bands songs. There are a few good songs on the CD and while I really like some of the music, I prefer the originals most of the time.

So, the first song I hear is Emmylou/Linda's version of Golden Ring and I think this is gonna be so easy. While most were songs I had heard before it was the actual narrowing down of the female artist that proved to be a bigger problem than I thought. 10,000 Maniacs covering REM's Don't Go Back To Rockville about drove me nuts. Finally though, I prevailed.
However, the other song that has absolutely drove me out of my mind was Cassidy by Grateful Dead. I had first thought Sheryl Crow. Only to be told I was wrong. Back to the drawing board. The co-worker just looked at me and said," Tina, you know this think. You want some clues?" Well, after a few more days I broke down. "Gimme the damn clues." To which I got: This person most popular song came out in the late 80's and was on a social issue.

Great! You know there were only a few hundred social issues sung about in the 80's. That was no help.

So, again after a couple more days and this woman's voice in my head, I break down again.
Ok, gimme another damn clue.
"Tina, you know this. Your gonna hate yourself when you figure it out."
Yeah, probably. Gimme the damn clue. (Needless to say, frustration has set in.)
Clue: This person sang at Lillith Fair.

God, you gotta love this guy!
Gives me a whole CD with women covering others songs and then, "Oh, by the way this chick sang at Lillith Fair."
" A woman at Lillith Fair... Heaven forbid!" (Anger has set in)

So, after driving Brinton crazy with it for so long, I email him and ask maybe Shawn Colvin. As soon as it was typed, I knew it was wrong. Knew it, felt it. Walked down stairs. Kicking myself along the way. Ready to scream because of my extreme stupidity. Sat down in front of my co-worker and said, Suzanne Vega and the social issue song was Luka.
Hung my head in shame, walked out of his office. I am pretty sure at that point my head exploded.

Well, 6 weeks later, there are only 10 more songs to go.
Maybe, I'll be finished before volume 2 comes out.



"I could do with a little more dignity and maturity in our operations, because those are the things we're fighting for. But first of all we've got to fight, and fighting is necessarily undignified and immature."

-James Lasher,Player Piano

I'm BAAAAAAAAACK ! !

Ok, so it's been awhile. I just decided that there really was absolutely no sense in posting for awhile.

So much of nothing has been going on for the last couple of months that I really haven't had much time to get my thoughts together to write anything.

I never really gave my review on Brokeback. I figured I went on and on about it for long enough. I didn't need to do it here. Maybe, it was way over hyped. Maybe, I would still love it even if it was another woman that caught Ennis's eye. But then again, maybe I wouldn't have. Regardless, it was still a good movie. Lord knows, I have spent money on worse drivel than Brokeback. Mission Impossible 2 comes to mind immediately. Of course, then again it was my birthday. I was 7 months pregnant and I really didn't want to see it anyway. Of course, I was being whiny. I am always whiny. To my credit, I have gotten a little less whiny since I'm not pregnant.

There have been so many movies that I wanted to see in the last few months, that for various reasons I just haven't. Rent and The Producers both come to mind. (Brinton and I had a conversation the other night, mostly concerning the poor taste in music and movies I have inccurred here lately.) Meanwhile, Syrianna is still at the house unwatched. I watched a movie the other morning about 4 am. Ahh yes, you know those type of movies. This one was different. Let me preface this by saying I hate war /spy movies. Very rarely is there ever one I really like. Yes, I can occasionally sit through Pearl Harbor and Saving Private Ryan. Some people don't like horror movies, I just tend not to like war movies. (What ever happened to warm fuzzy blankets and big soft teddy bears?) This one though, caught my eye.



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105391/

Shining Through. I had never seen it before. Never heard of it. Of course, given the cave I lived in when this came out would probably explain alot. Michael Douglas, Melanie Griffith and Liam Neeson. Probably the worst tagline ever!


He needed to trust her with his secret. She had to trust him with her life.

It is the only war movie that I can think of that kept my attention, even at 4 am. Of course I'll have to watch it again just to be sure.


" That's what you like, isn't it? Civilized people, polite ladies with pedigrees who look good at the opera, and never make you laugh too hard, and never make you feel too much."